Faraday Future Has Nothing on TREIA MOTOR COMPANY

Kinja'd!!! "philaDLJ" (philadlj)
01/04/2017 at 10:12 • Filed to: None

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Most people aren’t aware of the existence of the East Lehighton International Auto Show (LIAS), and that’s the point. East Lehighton is a sleepy hamlet that lies deep in the Commonwealth of Penn’s Woods, and its downtown consists of a small movie theater and a fence for tying up (off?) horses. In other words, the perfect setting to unveil not one, not two, but an entire RANGE of all-new, cutting-edge, world-class motorVISIONS with autonomous capabilities, which make the ambitions of Tesla, Faraday Future, LeEco and Lynk & Co. look like Coda, and make CES look like an Ice-T-manned lemonade stand.

Better still, all TREIA motorVISIONS are based upon proven, existing platforms, allowing TMC to focus on world-class automotive tech that make the competitors wares look like those horse-drawn carriages that used to be tied to the fence in downtown East Lehighton. Behold, if you dare, the magnificence of TREIA MOTOR COMPANY, a company rich in history founded in 1954 with the launch of the revolutionary DY-100, which was the spiritual inspiration for the BMW 1500 sedan, a vehicle that saved that lesser company from financial ruin.

We estimate no less than 5 million global sales by the end of FY 2018. You can take that number to the bank.

Now, like we said...BEHOLD:

-City Cars-

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TREIA MUNI - A Symphony of Space.

As it’s name suggests, the smallest Treia seizes the narrowest city streets and maneuvers through the thickest traffic with ease. A marvel of smart packaging without sacrificing safety, the Inner Muni is a veritable cathedral. Better still, Muni starts well under five figures, making the dream of owning a new car more than attainable. And with fuel economy besting the half-century mark in even tawdry city driving, that dream can be sustained.

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TREIA RIGEL V - Fun Frugality.

Revel in the whole new world of compact hatchness that is Rigel V. It’s standard engine is many things, but thirsty isn’t one of them. The optional clean diesel, meanwhile, is altogether unfamiliar with the word thirst, besting a galaxy of rivals with 75 mpg (doable on the highway without hypermiling). As the miles add up you’ll be appreciative that just because Rigel V is inexpensive doesn’t mean any expense was spared in it’s comfy interior.

-Sedans-

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TREIA LAZULI - Preclude the Passable.

The Lazuli is easy to drive and easy to fall in love with. It provides the essentials of spirited motoring - ample power to the rear wheels; AWD intervention when necessary; a driver-centered cockpit; balanced chassis, and communicative controls. Bulk and weight - enemies of sport - are kept to an absolute minimum so you can focus on what’s important - seizing all the road you can.

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TREIA CONUS - A Panoply of Performance.

Neither too large nor too small, Conus is a true midsize driver’s sedan. Despite eschewing one extreme or the other in size, Conus is hardly noncommittal when it comes to comfort and driving experience. At the reigns of the standard 280-horse powerplant paired to a seven-speed manumatic, you’ll seize plenty of road with ease. Things get more exciting with the optional mill, which will net you 100 additional horses with which to play.

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TREIA SPECTRUM - Leading-edge Luxury.

Classic forms meet state of the art driving technology in the Spectrum. Sometimes you want to feel the road, other times you want insulation from the outside world. This luxurious Treia delivers on both ends of the, well...spectrum. 447 Horses ensure however you prefer to commune with the road, you’ll do it expeditiously - in an interior that soothes the soul and makes the road-seizing miles melt away.

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TREIA PAVILION - Hedonism with Haste.

Behold Treia’s flagship sedan, imbued with equal portions regal luxury and exhilarating performance. We started with strong yet lightweight materials like carbon and magnesium, then outfitted the interior with world class leather and wood. With a 671 horsepower electric hybrid drive at your command and customizable driving modes, you have leave to tailor precisely the manner in which you seize the road and conquer all other luxury sedans on it. Redefine driving with Pavilion.

-Crossovers-

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TREIA LIMA - Pragmatically Practical.

Blending a compact yet athletic exterior with a spacious, adaptable interior with room for five, Lima is just the ticket for those seeking a balance of fun and utility. Choose between spirited direct-injection gas or diesel fours, both offering class-leading fuel economy while more than keeping up with bigger, thirstier sixes. Travel with those five or fold away or even remove all seats (but the driver’s of course) and you have yourself a cargo van in a pinch.

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TREIA QUORUM EV - Reliably Roomy.

Need the spaciousness and utility of a minivan, but the sliding doors are a dealbreaker? Quorum EV was designed precisely for you: all of the room and configurability of our Essence minivan, wrapped in a sleeker body (with a lower center of gravity), standard AWD that’s always on, the effortless pace of four electric motors, and, of course, Treia’s trademark suicide doors. Choose from seating for seven or eight with two rear benches, or opt for first-class captains chairs for all rows.

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TREIA HONG KONG - Gusto with Grace.

Like the dazzling, expansive city it’s named for, the largest and most luxurious of the Treia crossover trio offers a complex and invigorating experience. A quiet yet powerful six cylinder engine provides the grunt of a V8 while delivering exceptional fuel economy. A sleek profile and adjustable air suspension let this tall wagon cut through the air, and the accommodations rival those of Hong Kong’s finest hotels. Seize the exotic road with Hong Kong, an exquisite luxury crossover.

-Minivan-

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TREIA ESSENCE - Versatility, Vaunted.

Sometimes a minivan is the only option available to a growing family. Enter Essence, the Treia of minivans - with ingenious packaging, available AWD, smart - not lumpy - styling, and plenty of pep. While it isn’t easy to make a tall box handle like a sports car, we’ll argue that we’ve come closer than any automaker before to doing just that. So whether you’re road-seizing for three, four, or eight, Essence will ensure it’s in comfort and style.

-SUVs -

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TREIA DEPUTY - A Capable Companion.

Seize the off-road with the durable, tossable, and immensely fun Treia Deputy 4x4. Inspired by the military jeeps of yore, and equipped with a diverse choice of engines from conventional gas and diesel to our OmniFuel™ and HI-Alt™ engines (of our own design), Deputy is an uncompromising go-anywhere, do-anything machine that will never let you down, come hell, high water, or anything else Gaia throws your way.

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TREIA NAZCA - Embellished Efficacy.

The Nazca is no bigger or heavier than it needs to be, so it can still do what many rival compact utilities gave up on long ago - take the paths less traveled. With your choice of a highly durable, hose-down interior or a more luxurious leather-and-wood affair, Nazca’s pretensions are whatever you require them to be. Despite its off-road prowess, the Nazca is still tame and comfortable on paved roads. But don’t stay on them too long - get out and explore. It’s what the Nazca wants.

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TREIA ZURICH - Indespensable Immoderation.

Zurich sports a hospitable cabin in an SUV bred to tackle the most inhospitable terrain. Get that same cozy feeling of being in a warm environment as the sleet, ice and snow tap against the self-defrosting windows. Put your clog down and surge confidently up slick, steep slopes with its 380-horse V8. Imagine a spacious and tranquil Alpine chalet - on wheels - and you start to understand what Zurich’s all about.

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TREIA K2 - Sumptuous Surefootedness.

Our biggest, most luxurious SUV may be named after the second-tallest mountain, but when it comes to a blend of no-holds-barred off-road capability and limo-esque luxury, nothing tops K2. A mighty turbodiesel engine with 600 horsepower provides ample power to this high-mobility wheeled palace. A Roller is nice, sure, but it can’t handle 70 percent grades, 44 inches of water, or the thin air at 17,000 feet. K2 can. Don’t be content to seize the road - Seize the whole of the great outdoors.

-Trucks-

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TREIA SUSA - Unabashedly Bold.

Sousa was a master of the march who wasn’t afraid to be bold with the brass. Treia Susa also marches to a different tune. What other car has optional brass trim? Susa offers the style and performance of a sports coupe paired with the utility of a pickup truck. There are three flavors: a working Susa with a diesel engine; a sporty Susa that’s lower and growlier, and a third Susa that fits between the other two. No matter which you choose, you won’t fit in...and that’s the point. Also, Susa’s the name of a town in Iran. How ‘bout that?

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TREIA TOBAGO - Truth in Toughness.

It’s been driven hard, fully loaded, from Point Barrow, Alaska to Cabo de Hornos, and from Lisbon to Petropavlovsk. And back. It’s been tied to a pier and left for the tide to take it. It’s been driven down sand dunes in desolate deserts, through thick bush in simmering jungles, and across arctic plains and ice fields. We’ve even placed it on top of our 540-foot tall former headquarters - when it was time to implode the building. The Treia Tobago has never failed us...so it will never fail you.

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TREIA LEVIATHAN - Mover of Mountains.

Trailers usually won’t move themselves, so you need a truck. If the trailer, or whatever freight you have on wheels, weighs more than 45,000 pounds, your choice of truck quickly narrows. Ditto if you need to haul 36,200 pounds of payload. Leviathan does these things without complaint, thanks to an optional turbodiesel with 1200 very usable lb-ft of twist. It’s a truck’s truck, one that will let you seize the road while towing another road behind you.

-Vans-

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TREIA DORMOUSE - Undeniably Useful.

Dormice are small for rodents, but agile, with excellent hearing and omnivorous diets, feeding on fruits, berries, flowers, nuts and insects. The Treia Dormouse is small for a van, but that’s the point - no more or less van than you need. It’s agile, with controls that keep you attuned to the road - rare in vans - and feeds on gas, ethanol, diesel, or electricity. Dormice can also hibernate six months out of the year - but ours will stay wide awake for your daily hauling and delivery needs.

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TREIA HUN - Cargo Conscious.

If a Dormouse is a bit too compact for your business, upgrade to the Hun, with up to three times the volume for cargo, or room for up to 10 passengers. Hun is a midsize commercial van that is perfect for small or midsize businesses. The optional OmniFuel™ engine will ensure wherever your jobs take you you won’t run out of fuel, while the airy, comfortable driver environment will make long trips seem short.

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TREIA MAYGAR - Conspicuously Cavernous.

If you need big and heavy-duty van, Maygar is your best bet. Taking the classic European van and adding dynamic Treia DNA has bred a vehicle that will get even the toughest chores done, without making driving it a chore. Powerful engines, sophisticated suspensions, and a driving experience that needs no apologies are all part of the Maygar equation. Whatever your trade, you’ll be hard-pressed to find a large van that’s more balanced, purposeful, or refined.

-Sports Cars-

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TREIA SPASSO - Take Stock in Sun.

When many hear the word “sports car” they equate “sport” with “expense”. Treia built the Spasso to change their minds. Light as a feather and modest in proportion, Spasso needs less than a litre of engine to dart confidently around roads or highways. What it lacks in size it makes up for in pure driving fun, efficiency, and unbeatable road-seizing value.

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TREIA JAKARTA - Elegant Esteem.

A Treia 2+2 designed and built by enthusiasts, for enthusiasts, Jakarta meets their expectations straight out of the box and leaves unnecessary variables out of the equation, like excess weight and technological nannies. Despite it’s sporty nature, Jakarta is exceedingly practical, with a big trunk, roomy back seat, great visibility, and economical engines. Seize the road in a Jakarta, and take years off your true age.

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TREIA VICTORY - Gratification, Galvinized.

As its name suggests, this taut, muscular Treia aims to seize - and hold - roads by the chunkfull. With engines of 483 or 586 direct-injected horsepower, Victory is a missile in a straight line. Fully-independent suspension, dinner plate brakes and optional AWD put it round corners and stop it with ease. We encourage drivers to take the Victory to a track to put it through its paces. In fact, we offer free passes to our own tracks for just this purpose.

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TREIA HARBINGER - Deviant Dominance.

Whether you believe in prophecy or not, it’s hard to argue that Harbinger is an exhilarating sign of things to come - from rivals, that is...years into the future. The Harbinger, meanwhile, offers world-beating performance and comfort right here and now. A seemingly insane 834 horses are tamed by an indomitably stiff monocoque, while advanced aerodynamic aids channel air and power to propel this beast to 60 mph in 2.2 seconds, to 100 in just over 5, all the way to a top speed of 246 mph.

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TREIA HALCYON - Sovereign of Speed.

Seize the tarmac in this street-legal race car dutifully marinated in Formula One tech. Our masterpiece weighs well under a ton yet is immensely strong thanks to a Tungsten-Vanadium alloy frame and our own unique blend of carbon-fibre skin barely concealing the guts of a true coup-de-car: an alloy V10 Valkyrie pumping out a cool 1500 horsepower. With so much power strapped to so little car, we made sure it could actually be driven, and it can be...quite quickly. Remember those Halcyon days? Make new ones.

!!! UNKNOWN HEADER TYPE (MULTI-LINE BREAK?) !!!

Some people don’t care about cars, but still have to drive them. That’s cool. Then there are automakers who don’t care about cars, but build them anyway. That’s not cool. At TREIA, we build cars because that’s our passion. We work tirelessly so each and every TREIA oozes character, beauty, and soul. So every time you fire up a TREIA, you feel compelled not just to drive from A to B ... but to seize the road in the process. So, by all means, Have a Nice Drive ™ .

Available at authorized TREIA retailers throughout the world


DISCUSSION (4)


Kinja'd!!! Probenja > philaDLJ
01/04/2017 at 10:39

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I would totally DD a 10 passenger HUN if I was a midget.


Kinja'd!!! RT > philaDLJ
01/04/2017 at 10:49

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Yep, let’s ruin the party. I cba to list all the rebadges though.

Sedans are:

Honda Life, Honda Fit, Ford Contour, Nissan Celfiro, Mazda Sentia and Peugeot RC HYmotion4.

Crossovers are:

Nissan Dualis, Honda Odyssey JDM, Lincoln MKT, Peugeot 807, Jeep Wrangler, Nissan X-Trail, Toyota Land Cruiser Prado and Hummer H2.

Trucks are:

Holden Ute, Toyota Hilux and Dodge Ram.

Vans are:

Daihatsu Hijet, Fiat Fiorino and Renault Master.

Sports Cars are:

Suzuki Cappuccino, Mazda MX-6, Ford Mustang Shelby GT500/Honda Accord Coupé, Ascari KZ1 and Caparo T1.


Kinja'd!!! NojustNo > philaDLJ
01/04/2017 at 11:48

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Great spoof! Channeling Torch? You must do ad copy IRL.


Kinja'd!!! pip bip - choose Corrour > philaDLJ
01/04/2017 at 17:47

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1. Daihatsu

2. honda Jazz

3. no idea.

4. Nissan Maxima

5. Mazda 929

6. no idea.

7. Holden Trax.

8. Honda Odyssey

9. Lincoln

10. Peugeot 806

11. Jeep Wrangler

12. Nissan X-trail

13. Toyota Prado

14. Hummer

15. Holden VE Ute

16. Toyota HiLux

17. Dodge/Ram

18. Daihatsu

19. Peugeot/Citroen

20. Renault

21. Suzuki Cappuccino

22. Mazda MX6

23. Ford Mustang

24. Ascari Kz1

25. Caparo T1